Monday, July 20, 2009
change is hard
In other news, we have officially moved churches. It has been a 2 and a half year journey, but we finally feel settled and excited in our new little church. It's strange how something exciting can still be hard.
In moving to Redeemer we felt we needed to join a small group at Redeemer and get more plugged in and involved, however this meant we had to leave the small group we have been a part of for the last two years. One of the hardest decisions we have had to make. A decision that took months for us to actually muster up the courage to do.
Last night we hung out with our small group for the last time and my heart ached. As I looked around the room at the other couples we have shared life with over these two years (pretty much as long as we have been married) my eyes welled up as I realized how much I loved them all. Change is so hard.
It reminded me of the feelings and emotions I had when I moved countries (both times). It's this strange mixture of excitement for the new, for the adventure that lies ahead, with sadness and heart aches for the memories and people you are leaving behind. It feels silly cos we aren't moving away, we can still see these people we have grown close to and love, just not as often. I will just have to more intentional now.
I think these big changes (and losses) that occur in our lives (although compared to moving countries this isn't that big, but for some reason feels like it, and is evoking similar responses and emotions in me), makes us take a step back and look at life from a different perspective, it gives us an opportunity to express our gratitude and love for those we don't necessarily always take the time to tell how much they mean to us. It reminds me that I need to be better at telling people how much they mean to me and my life.
So to our dear small group, this is what I couldn't put into words last night (mainly cos I am ridiculously shy in big groups and my face would have been as red as a tomato, and I probably would have burst in to tears, and been utterly dismayed, but it was on my heart and in my thoughts)......We love you all so much. We are so thankful for having you all as a part of our lives these last 2 years, to share the ups and downs of life. Thank you for all your prayers, encouragement, love, memories, and much laughter. You are a special group and we will miss being a part of it. Thank you for all your support and understanding as we make this move. You guys are awesome, and will continue to be in our prayers. I will not say goodbye, but see you later!!!
And away we go into another great unknown, taking baby steps and excited for what God has in store for us.