Yesterday was my brother Chris's Birthday. He would have been 23 years old. This is one of the last photographs we have of him. He died suddenly at age 12 from Meningitis. I miss him. I find it interesting that around the anniversary of his birth and his death I start having alot of memories and thoughts about him, even 11 years later. Usually there is a day or two around these times where I feel sad, and it takes me a while to realise why. Yesterday was one of those sad days. I woke up at 6:30am and my first thought was that it was Chris's Birthday so I whispered a Happy Birthday wish into the early morning air and then fell back to sleep. When I awoke again at 9:30 I forgot about it. I got up and had a hard time finding anything to wear to church, that we were already late for, this invariably was a steep slope to feeling sad and frustrated for me. So Josh suggested I stay home, I did, and easily persuaded him to stay too. It was only then that I realised again what day it was. Suddenly I was overwhelmed by how much I miss him. I miss not knowing who he would be today. What he would look like and be like. Then I thought about where he is, I smiled at Josh through my tears and said "I bet he is having the best party ever!". I am so thankful for Chris, although his life was short, I am so thankful I was one of the privileged ones to not only share life with him and to know him, but also to be his sister. We started a tradition to have Hawaiian pizza on his anniversary's each year. His first birthday after he died, we wanted to do something fun to remember him, so we joked that we should have a sleep over with his Friends, watch The Mask (his favorite movie) and eat Hawaiian Pizza...we never had a sleep over but the Pizza stuck, and sometimes we watch a Jim Carey movie. We didn't have a pizza yesterday (we are on a strict budget) but Josh blessed me by making miniature pizza's with crackers and cheese and other interesting things from our fridge, baked in the oven. It meant alot to me. I look forward to the day that I can introduce them one day in heaven. Until then I have plenty of great memories to share about a special boy who has touched and changed my life for ever.
Happy Birthday Chris!